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Tony's avatar

"My bad man; I had to put my dog down today and I'm totally out of it". Tough guy ends up buying me a drink.

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Ian's avatar

This is an excellent tactic, also.

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Roy Zesch's avatar

The paragraph about bribery is hilarious coming from someone who tried to bribe a TX state trooper as a child.

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Timothy Covington's avatar

My attitude about it is that $20 is a LOT cheaper than a defense attorney and missing a bunch of time from work.

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Cecil Habermacher's avatar

One important data point....

Following the US Supreme Court ruling in Snyder v. US last summer, while *bribery* (that is, promising something of value to a government official in exchange for behavior) is still illegal, a *gratuity* after the fact as thanks for behavior is not illegal.

So "Mr Congresscritter/building inspector/other authority figure, if you vote for this bill/squint hard at my project/ignore my minor or not so minor indiscretion, I'll buy you house on the island" is illegal.

"Mr Congresscritter/building inspector/other authority figure, I'd really appreciate your vote on this bill/squint hard at my project/ignore my minor or not so minor indiscretion <wink wink, nudge nudge>," followed a few hours/days/weeks later by "Oh, Mr Congresscritter/building inspector/other authority figure, I just wanted to show my thanks... here, take this house on the island as a show of my gratitude" is perfectly legal.

Driving a truck through this loophole is left as an exercise for the reader.

Had the Egyptians simply expressed their thanks to Bob Menendez *after* the vote instead of *before*, he'd still be a Senator. Similarly, the Turks and Eric Adams in New York City.

(The Supremes seriously claimed that if they made gratuities illegal, no one would be able to distinguish between a house given to a Congresscritter and a holiday gift to a teacher or a plate of baked goods for a firehouse, and so we'd need to jail every teacher and every firefighter in the country.)

(Snyder v US: Kavanaugh, joined by Roberts, Thomas, Alito, Gorsuch, Barrett in the Majority, voting *for* gratuities. Jackson, joined by Sotomayor, Kagan voting against.)

Ahem.

I, for one, can tell the difference and believe that a law could be written that distinguishes between them.)

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Brian Lee Gnad's avatar

This is seriously good advice!

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Francis Turner's avatar

In re footnote 1. there's also the somali gentlemen in the Feeding Our Future fraud in Minneapolis. I don't think they quite realized that's not how things work over here

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Yet Another Joe's avatar

It's another great use for spring-loaded binder clips.

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Jesse A Barrett's avatar

The tiny ones, and make sure you can fold the handles along the bill.

You're adding weight, not trying ro make it harder to get out of a pocket.

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Wynn's avatar

Moment to prepare

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Wynn's avatar

For other than "my bad" money and more of a get inside an OODA loop tactic in case of attack/robbery attempt, consider ten 1.00 bills with a 20 folded over it and secured with a small binder clip. Looks like a fat wad, but it's only 30 bucks. Toss it to them. They take it and run, just a robbery. If it gives slight pause and they ignore it, you have a comment to prepare

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Yet Another Joe's avatar

And $30 is still way cheaper than lawyers.

It's also a handy way to have some emergency cash on hand for other uses.

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Reeeetired's avatar

A big bad bouncer can be had, even if only temporarily, for only a twenty? Who knew?!!

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