Oh, it's a day ending in 'Y'
Indo-Pak relations.
I was sitting on the front porch enjoying a mug of coffee and listening to the pre-dawn birds when I realized that it’s been some years since a mufti1 or some Internet rando2 declared a fatwa against me. Well, that’s too long.
*crosses self*
The modern State of Pakistan3 was created by Britain in 1947 by splitting British India into two, and giving the Muslim minority in India a place of their own.
This led to about six or seven million Muslims moving from India to the newly-created country of Pakistan; and between four and five non-Muslims unassing Pakistan to India4.
It also led to somewhere in the neighborhood of a million +/- people getting slaughtered for being on the wrong side of the border; along with about 100,000 women of all religions getting kidnapped and raped by the other side’s team just to drive the point home.
As one does, the old boys running Pakistan announced — with straight faces — that it would a be a secular place where citizens of all faiths would be free to worship as they chose5. That lasted about as long as anyone with a Licence To Adult would expect.
As a Commonwealth nation, Pakistan lasted under the … somewhat absent-minded … rule of the British Crown with a selection of Governor-Generals until 1956, when it stopped pussy-footing around and formally declared itself to be an independent Islamic Republic.
With that history, it should come as no surprise that Pakistan and India have … issues.
The first one happened from 1947 - 1948, when Pakistan got worried that the Head Dude in the region of Kashmir and Jannu — Muslim majority, ruled by a Hindu prince — was thinking about picking the wrong side6. So — like one does — they attacked. And as anyone with a lick of common sense would expect, this caused the prince to bellow for help, to which India responded. That little dust-up left about 30,000 troopies dead; and India controlling about two-thirds of the region.
Not one to learn, Pakistan was still smarting over the losses from the first time, and in 1965, they jumped into Kashmir again. Seventeen days later, with India having the upper hand and rather vigorously putting the boot in7, the US and USSR dragged both sides to the bargaining table, and made them sign a peace treaty.
Both sides glared at each other until Bangladesh decided they had enough of Pakistan and declared independence in 1971. 10 million Bengalis hot-footed it over the border into India for safety, India made some declarations, Pakistan decided to launch “pre-emptive air strikes” on the Bengali camps … and India screamed and leaped.
Two weeks later — during which Pakistan’s “Flagship” (and only) Submarine had a … mysterious oopsie and sank with all hands — 90,000 Pakistani troopies8 surrendered to India9.
That’s three, so it shouldn’t come as any surprise that in early 1999 Pakistani forces infiltrated into the Kargil district of — surprise! — Kashmir, and started being aggressively Pakistani.
The Indians tooled up, started beating wholesale ass, and Pakistan wound up withdrawing from the region in July of 1999.
So. Here we are. Pakistan is 0 for 4 on the leaderboard against India in uniformed10 declared military actions. There have been armed squabbles damned near every year. And now random Islamist terrorists have decided to weigh-in …
…. Causing everybody11 to suddenly be all up in a tizzy regarding the possibility of war between India and Pakistan.
Blink. Where the hell have y’all been? This is news?
“They might go to war!”
Sigh. No, “They might go to war … again.”
Which brings me to tomorrow’s post on that monumental organised pain-in-the-ass known as the “Pakistani Inter-Sevices Intelligence”, or — as I refer to them: “Paki ISI”12.
Ian
I’m here to tell you — nothing elevates a spittle-flecked rager quite like hearing it in a guttural language such as Arabic.
Nord Stream. Ugh.
Please don’t lecture me about Arabic not having a /p/ consonant. I know. “Pakistan” comes from Persian, which does have a /p/.
The largest mass-migration — that we know of — in human history.
A whole bunch of dead Hindus and Sikhs were unavailable for comment.
“Wrong side” being defined as any side other than Pakistan.
Including the largest tank battle — at that time — since WWII.
The largest surrender since World War II.
"Pakistan lost half its navy, a quarter of its air force and a third of its army.” ~Tariq Ali, ‘Can Pakistan Survive?: The Death of a State’.
Ish. Mostly.
Can you hear the diploma printers at Google U. and the University of Internet going “Brrrt”?
Yes, I know that “Paki” is an insult. After tomorrow’s post you should understand why I happily insult Pakistani Inter-Service Intelligence on the regular.
no, no, not “They might go to war … again.” it's "They will go to war...again." just might not be this month.
People have NO idea how much the average Indian is pissed at the US for backing or helping Pakistan. Pakistan IS the problem. They KNOWINGLY SHELTERED Bin Laden for years.
Yeah, we should have done them for that, say with a nuke dropped on him instead of a Seal Team. But the administration at the time was muslim, so what can you do?