So, Iran
Oh, boy. Part 1.
First I’d like to apologize for the lack of posting. I got on the road for Libertycon on Wednesday 18 JUN 25, and I’ve had about 4 hours of lousy sleep per night since then, on top of shaking off a mild con-crud. Sorry about that.
Internet U and the College of Google have been busy printing out diplomas regarding Persian Studies, and — as per usual — a lot of wrong opinions have been promulgated.
First off — yes, Britain and the United States dinked around with Persia/Iran’s self-governance, and yes, we did them dirty.
And they have a case of the hips about that, but that’s not even close to the reason why the Iranian ruling class1 hates2 us.
They hate us because we are damning their children to Hell.
I realize that’s a hard concept for secular American culture to wrap its tiny little mind around, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less true — everything about American culture is antithetical to the mullah’s version of Islam, and every time something about American culture makes an Iranian child think outside of that tiny little theocratic box … that child is doomed to hell. And it’s our fault.
Separation of church and state? Apostasy.3
Freedom of speech? Apostasy.4
Freedom of religion? Hah! Apostasy.5
Sundress Season — either watching or wearing? Apostasy.6
And I’ll emphasize this: All of these thoughts — just thinking about them, and others — damn a young Iranian to lakes of eternal fire. Saving the kids — your children — from Hell7 is a moral justification that allows for all sorts of atrocities with a clear conscience.
Until we burn the Constitution, raze Hollywood to the ground, and shred every “immoral” movie, book, and TV show — and they’re all “immoral” — you, I, the United States, and the entire Western world8 are personally sending Iranian children to hell.
On top of that little cupcake, the Iranian mullahs follow an … odd little branch of Shi’a Islam. Shi’a Muslims believe in a 12th Imam — called the “Mahdi” or “The Hidden”, who exists today, but is hidden by Allah. When the Mahdi is revealed, it will trigger the Muslim version of the Christian Book of Revelations — the end of the world, where the deserving will ascend to Heaven, and the undeserving get punted into hell.
Now, most Shi’a Muslims are perfectly content — and believe — that the Mahdi will show up when he’s good and ready. Indeed, to attempt to rush that worthy is going against the Will of Allah, and is Very Bad Gris-Gris.
The Iranian mullahs, on the other paw — not so much. Those little bugsnipes not only believe that the Mahdi can be influenced as to the time of his return, but that it is their holy duty to do so.
“But, Ian,” I hear you ask, “How do mortal men convince the prophet to come back and kick off Armageddon?”
Simple. The mullahs believe that if the world is on fire — if the entire bloody world is at war — the Mahdi will pop-up and start the End-of-Days to settle everyone’s hash.
Understand two things: 1) This is religion. They believe you are influencing their children to damnation because their religion says so. They believe that they must set the world into mass war because their religion says so. Religion is faith, and emotion; and can not be influenced by facts, or diplomacy, or logic, or politics, or apologies, or bribery, or U.N. resolutions, or Strongly Worded Letters. Period.
Second — these beliefs are the realm of the mullahs, the secret police, and the carefully-selected and trained operatives of such. The average Iranian — beyond mouthing the slogans that will keep him or her out of police custody — doesn’t have these same beliefs.
Don’t get the mullahs and the average Iranian on the street confused, please.
Next post will go over some of the recent history between the mullahs and the U.S.A.
Ian
Spelled “mullahs”.
Yes, “hate” is the proper word.
BIG apostasy there.
Yeah, I know what they say. Now go stand on a corner in Tehran, yell, “Mohammad had sex with goats!” and report back on their freedom of speech.
Yah, yah, I know about the “People of the Book”. Now walk around Tehran wearing a Mjolnir and preaching the Havamal to the masses — I’ll wait.
And this is a hill I’ll die on — let the distaff side of the species flaunt their sundresses.
Americans seem to think that the mullahs call the United States “The Great Satan” out of a fit of hyperbole or something.
If you really, really want to see a thermonuclear spittle-flecked rage, watch a mullah going off his nut about Gharbzadegi some time. Don’t stand too close unless you’ve got a raincoat on.
One mistake otherwise smart people make is thinking other cultures think like they do. They believe everyone will be “reasonable and pragmatic.” When nothing is further from the truth. It’s one reason I tell people to not try to make sense of why criminals do what they do. For most, it won’t. The same goes for terrorists and fundamentalist states.
Which is exactly why I'm fine with pilots blaring "Rock The Casbah" on bombing runs.
Bonus: It makes the songwriter, along with the rest of those "They just want peace!" types, cry. This fact amuses me.