A story I first told in private several years ago. Fortunately the statute of limitations has expired.
So. There I am, in the Wal-Mart parking lot earlier, taking deep breaths before venturing into the Heart of Darkness, when I notice a smartly-dressed young lady, probably college-aged, moving with a rapid stride down the centre of the driving section of the parking lot.
This strikes me as a bit odd — most people walk closer to the bumpers of the parked cars — and as I take a closer look, I notice that she has her right hand buried forearm-deep in her purse.
Oh, ho, think I, we have three anomalies here ...
And then Chew Toy Of Interest #1 pops out between two pickups, spins her half around by her upper left arm whilst bellowing something that sounded suspiciously like, “You mucking bore!”, before Our Wee Damsel grabs the collar of his sweatshirt with her left hand, jerks a hot-pink Comtech Stinger out of her purse (rather than the pistol I was expecting) with her right, and hammers it into his taint area with three lovely looping uppercuts.
As an aside, being a dilettante in the Sweet Science, I have a great deal of admiration for the loving papa or uncle who taught her how to put her hips into her punches. Damn.
Anyhoo, apparently getting punched in the gooch by a healthy girl with some skill will turn out the lights, because he dropped like a sack of dead trout and laid there for at least five minutes longer than it took her to hurry into the store.
Looks like the Christmas holiday this year is getting off to a rollicking start.
Merry Christmas, everyone!
I first heard the phrase “popsicle shot” from Craig Douglas during one of his Edged Weapon Overview classes. It is an evocative phrase describing — and warning about — getting stabbed in the perineal area (along with the classic “You can’t put a tourniquet on a taint”), and it kicked my gigglebox over pretty hard.
I’ve since stolen it, only I use it to describe getting punched1 in that particular region as well as getting stabbed.
Anyhoo, something a little light-hearted to start the holiday season off right.
Ian
As we see in the story.
I'd have gone up to her and said "Nicely done. Need a witness?"
one should also note that the application of a Stinger, or even the application of a fist or boot, to that same anatomical area of a female assailant will also result in cessation of hostilities on the part of the goblinette. Its 'nads may be better protected, but the sensory nerves are even more concentrated!