Big Brother riding shotgun

Or: How MADD became the enemy.

AI. Can you tell I’m annoyed?

Hidden in the Infrastructure Investment and Jobs Act of 2021 is a vicious little gator courtesy of Mothers Against Drunk Drivers.

The HALT act mandates that the NHTSA develop technology to prevent impaired driving, and compels the obligatory installation of said technology in all vehicles starting the 2027 model year.

Now, on the face of it that doesn’t sound bad, does it? And given that I, in the past, have not only been the deputy with the most DWI arrests for a year, but that none of my DWI arrests that year were dismissed — I should be all in for this, right?

Hell, no.

Let’s not even get into MADD fudging statistics to get their way, let’s just talk about the monumental cheek of this law.

This law mandates that you prove yourself innocent before Big Brother will magnanimously allow you to start your own bloody vehicle. And this basic violation of a founding part of American jurisprudence is acceptable to anyone?

I thought the requirement was that the State had to prove you guilty; not that you are required to prove yourself innocent.

You wish to drive your own damned car — well, prove yourself virtuous first! Every time! And this sits right with people?

On top of that — oh! More invasive technology! MADD pinky swears that the data collected (Every. Time. You. Try. To. Start. Your. Car.) will not be saved. Pinky swear!

Where have we heard this before? Oh, yes — the RapiScan airport body scanners. Remember? “Oh, we pinky swear that the nekkid pictures we get out of the scanners won’t be saved! Not even possible to save the nekkid pictures of your wife, daughters, or other comely females! You silly rednecks, you!”

Tens of thousands of saved nekkid pictures later: “Oops.”

I will further note — for the record — I can’t find any record of TSA idiots being prosecuted for unlawfully saving and distributing nude scans¹.

So, we already know that the pinky promise not to keep data is a steaming pile of horse puckey — the question becomes … what is the State² going to do with this treasure-trove of Probable Cause?³ What are private corporations⁴ going to do with this gold-mine of social data?⁵

The law is already there, folks. And while Congress is perfectly capable of slipping an itty-bitty little midnight amendment into some 5,000 page bill — let’s be honest: given the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives’ history of using “rules” to bugger any firearm law into becoming their personal gimp⁶, I have zero faith in any promises made by MADD or Congresscritters regarding this law once Federal agencies with “rule making” powers start to get ideas.

Let’s go ahead and ignore the Constitutional issues of being required to prove yourself innocent before being allowed to perform an everyday activity.

We’ll set aside the monumental invasion of privacy, and the opportunity for corporations to make EVEN MOAR money using your personal data.

Who the hell thinks that adding even more failure-prone electronics to vehicles is a good idea? Because you know damned good and well that the default mode for this will be DENY START so Cooter can’t just rip it out of his new Chevy.

I don’t live in Manhattan, or anywhere within half an hour of public transportation. Who’s going to pay for the tow truck and the rental car when the booze detector in my new 2027 pickup has a snit-fit? MADD? Congress?

Since this country lost its’ damned mind and went all “Sanitise all teh thingz!” Ethanol-based hand sanitiser is every-damned-where, how long after using hand sanitiser am I going to have to cool my heels in the parking lot because the steering wheel sensor detects — no duh — booze?

My buddy gets snot-slinging drunk, does the right thing and calls me for a ride — given the “cabin air monitoring” are we both going to be sitting on the kerb at the club?

I was in law enforcement for 26 years — I know about calibrating Intoxylizers, Intoximeters, and personal breathalyzers. Am I going to have to pay for a sodding re-calibration on my pickup every week, month, or year?

If folks want this as an option on their cars — I got no issue with that. Automobile manufacturers want to offer this as an optional package — go for it.

Mandating it really sets the fox in the henhouse for me. And MADD’s little Puritan nose in the air is the cherry on that cupcake.

I swear to Freyja I’ll never buy a vehicle newer than 2021. Bastards.

Grr.

Ian

1. My surprised face, let me show you it.

2. Want a list of companies who don’t even wait for the common courtesy of a search warrant before turning over evidence to the po-po?

3. Does anyone actually believe that an elected official is going to turn down the chance to pad his DWI arrest rate when all he has to do is click a mouse button every morning?

4. You think the automobile companies are just going to leave the extra money they could get from selling your data on the table?

5. You give a buddy a ride, next thing you know your Facebook feed is overflowing with Bacardi adverts.

6. See also.