American Kabuki Security Theatre

TSA and You: A PSA

I’m a thug, not an artist. Image is mine, generated using HIDreamI1 Fast

Last weekend a retired Law Enforcement Officer — and gunnie — acquaintance of mine ran afoul of the institutionalized security theatre that the Federal Government straight-facedly calls the “Transportation Security Administration”. Bad luck for her — actually bad preparation — but good luck for me and you, because it gives me some blog-fodder.

Before I get to the meat of this essay, let me get something out of the way: I consider the TSA to be unConstitutional, over-paid, under-trained, utterly useless at their stated purpose, and an impediment to actual security.¹

The very existence of the TSA serves to underscore my belief that the average Congresscritter would much rather fluff his feathers by pretending to do something, instead of the hard work of actually doing something; and that the average American prefers to feel safe, rather than be safe.

That off my chest, let’s get into this.

This recent issue — and it has happened more than once amongst our circle of friends — stems from the habit of having a random bag; said random bag sometimes being a range bag, and sometimes being carry-on luggage.

Ah, I see some of you already nodding your heads in the back.

Yes, this retiree had been to the range earlier in the week, haphazardly unpacked the range bag when she got home, and a couple of days later threw in some clothes and headed for Albuquerque International. Guess what the TSA drone spotted² in her carry-on at the X-ray? If you said, “A bang-stick”, congratulations.

She’s currently sweating what happens next, but she’s got a good lawyer.

Rita and I have been preaching the Gospel of Dedicated Travel Luggage for a while. We even go so far as to stress that if you’re a gun-owning traveller, you should have a dedicated set of carry-on luggage, a dedicated set of range luggage … and the two should never meet.

And not just because of the possibility that a firearm or ammunition could get missed when packing, but because your range bag is covered in nitrites³ and nitrates⁴ — causing Bowser the Four-Legged Wonder Mutt to perform the Kaboomite Sit-down when he gets to your luggage. Which leads the TSA to get all sorts of … close and personal.⁵

And, for Freyja’s sake — your carry-on should be capable of being zipped-up. Never, ever travel by aeroplane with an open-topped bag.

I took a class one time where as part of the instruction the cadre showed a video. In the video one of the instructors was filmed putting turbinado sugar in two small ziptop drug baggies. The video continued with that worthy walking past a woman who had a open-topped bag of knitting waiting to go through the security checkpoint at a major East Coast aeroport, and he dropped the sugar baggies in amongst the bundles of yarn. He was then filmed watching her go through security without security finding the sugar; and further filmed at the gate, where he “accidentally” knocked over her knitting bag, palmed the baggies while helping her gather the yarn, and showed them to the camera after walking away from her.⁶

So. Travel luggage should be capable of being completely closed up, and your weapons — or anything else that the TSA frowneth upon — should never see the inside of your dedicated carry-on luggage.

Furthermore — and I cannot stress this enough — when your travelling is done, you should completely clean out your luggage and put it away in its customary storage location completely empty. This ensures two distinct layers to your packing:

1. Firearms never get into your carry-on; and

2. You start with an empty bag and you consciously watch what you pack into it.

While we are human, and thus besieged by weapons gremlins,⁷ this is a relatively certain way to make sure you don’t accidentally wind-up with an embarrassing incident, legal costs, and an entry onto yet another government watch-list.

Ian

1. Did you know that a felony theft conviction isn’t a bar to a rewarding career of looking through other people’s luggage? Now you do!

2. For once.

3. Partially burned smokeless powder.

4. Primer compounds.

5. Don’t expect chocolates or a movie.

6. I asked the instructor what would have happened if security had found the sugar. He meditatively spit into a coke can and said, “She’d have [deleted] learned not to take a [deleted] open-topped bag to the [deleted] airport.”

7. One of my sergeants was packing for a trip, and his wife — who knew he always carried a pistol — thought that he had forgotten to pack one in the stress. So she put it in his carry-on while he was in the bathroom. Fortunately while they were kissing goodbye she teased him about forgetting to pack his pistol.